These characteristics are discussed with relations to two great women in Islam; Asiyah, the wife of Pharaoh and Khadija, the wife of Mohamed (SAW). While Pharaoh and Prophet Mohamed are like two ends of a scale in terms of goodness and evil, what their women had in common was that they were both great women. So we’re going to derive those lessons of being great women from them. Let’s get started.
1. Know what you want
The first lesson of being an independent woman is that a woman needs to know what she wants. No woman can really truly acclaim to be an independent woman if she is just freely going through life without really having any goal or purpose whatsoever. Setting goals gives you a purpose, and help you guide your life. First consider what you want to achieve in life, and then commit to it. Set SMART (specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and time-bound) goals that motivate you and write them down to make them feel real. Then plan the steps you must take to realize them.
2. Work Towards Achieving That Goal
Secondly, to be an independent woman you need to work tirelessly towards your defined goal. Once you know what you want out of life, you then go for it and you do not allow anything come between you and your goal. Take Asiyah for example. Despite living in the same house with her tyrant husband who would kill anybody and anything that came between him and his views, she remained firm upon her beliefs to the point where he tortured her until she died. She was a woman who never allowed herself to be defined or limited by her painful circumstances, but rather carried in her such a deep faith and sense of self that she was willing to die for what she believed in. Asiyah was a queen who lived a life of unparalleled wealth and luxury and was married to the most powerful man to walk the earth. But she gave all that up and did not allow the deception of this world to come in the way of her goal. Whatever it took for her to achieve her goal, she did. She could have simply succumbed to Pharaoh. But no! Her belief in God was far greater than whatever pain Pharaoh could have inflicted upon her.
So ladies, for us, she should be a role model and the example that we should be taking. It doesn’t matter what circumstances put in your way or how many times you fall, just dust yourself up and try again. That’s not to say that we should be rigid minded or whatever, but there is no obedience to a human being if it means disobedience towards your God and lack of purpose as a human. If you’re told or pressured to forgo your goals in life and live according to someone’s standards; without a strong conviction, determination and mental strength towards your goal, like Asiyah had, you would end up living someone’s life, not yours; thereby being enslaved physically or mentally. Without doubt, mental slavery is worse than anything you could imagine. Hence it is so important to have your goals in mind and never allow anything to come between you and your goal. It’s true that dreams are hard to follow, but never let anyone cast them away. Therefore don’t allow anything come between you and your goal
3. Do Not Depend on Others for Your Happiness
Thirdly, being an independent woman means not to expect other people to make you happy. Happiness is a state of mind that only you can achieve by yourself. No one else can put happiness into your head, obviously not. It’s all about your state of mind. It’s all about being healthy and having a healthy state of mind. So for Asiyah, one can look at her and perhaps say she must have really been an unhappy woman. But no, her beliefs provided for her that fulfillment and contentment that she really needed; and that was why she prayed to God to save her from Pharaoh and his evil, and from the unjust people. She wanted to be among just people and please her Maker and for her, that gave her contentment. It gave her happiness and she was not dependent upon her husband to grant her that happiness.
Yes you have people whom you’re close to, and communicate with. You got friends and close family and you’re content with that. But your true happiness does not rely on the presence of those people. As you know people come and go in life, and people will die. Either you die before them or them before you. People leave. Nothing is permanent in this life. So for ladies, who are looking for independence, put your trust and reliance in only God while you do the things you love and love the things you do. Also know that happiness doesn’t come from the materialistic things of this world as many ladies of today may think. In fact, nothing is more fulfilling, honoring and respectful than success achieved through your own efforts as a human being, that’s true happiness.
4. You Can Be Financially Independent and Humble
The next characteristic of being an independent woman is to be financially independent. Often times, because the responsibility of the husband in marriage is to provide for the woman, women tend to make men their financial goals. Like, you know, I just need to marry a rich man and I’ll be set. That’s not necessarily the case for you to be an independent woman. We have examples within the women in Islam who provided for themselves, who did not wait for a man to come and provide for them. A great example is Khadijah, the wife of Prophet Mohamed (PBUH). She was a very rich woman who had inherited her father’s wealth and did not just sit on it and squander it whatever way, but rather she was such a smart business woman who had men working for her. She employed men to work for her at that time when women where close to nothing! So when we talk about great independent women in Islam, she is one of them. And that’s how she came across prophet Mohamed (PBUH). And so that is an example for us to say that you know what, we can be close to God and still achieve the good things this life could offer; but that should not cloud our judgements neither prevent us from reaching our ultimate goal. Because despite the fact that Khadijah was so rich and had so much money, when she married the prophet, she humbled herself as a wife and he treated her so well.
Hence being financially independent does not mean that we should be arrogant or cannot be good people. Neither does it mean that we cannot be submissive to our husbands and cannot treat them with kindness and dignity. It also doesn’t mean that we can feel like we’re above them. Because one thing about men is that they don’t like to feel like a woman is above them. It’s a sad egotistical thing that they have, but it’s true. They just don’t like to feel that way. Hence, if you plan your life well as a woman, you can be financially independent but just remember to remain humble and to thank your Creator and use that wealth in a way that would benefit humanity.
Please Leave your Comment below If you agree or disagree
Happy Women’s Day!
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As women you should define yourself as human first. They try to be equal with men, but they should work hard and try their best to impact this world. The world is not fair and they should aware of that. Be smarter to be on the winning side. It’s all a mind game.
Men have been ruling the world since centuries. They are the ones who can mistaken and require forgiveness. They are the strongest despite their weakness between the legs of their mistresses. They force women to be perfect and yet they are eager to defile them whenever they want.
Don’t let them bully you and tell you what you are supposed to be or do.
Love you all, my powerful ladies 😘
Great article, and a lot learn from for both men and women…The answer lies in realizing that people are not things to fulfill our voids. Their job is not to make us happy, they are probably struggling just as hard as themselves. If I’ve learned one thing at all, it’s that the only thing that can continue to make you happy is you and not others……this is great, Keep it up
You have precisely summed it up my dear. Everyone is on a “hustling train” and therefore we do not have to be irresponsible of ourselves as women and expect men to be remedies to our happiness. Ladies, especially, need to be appreciative and supportive! You’ve said it all!
Wow, simply inspirational and powerful! Words can’t express how much I felt about this article.
Keep your head high, and the momentum, the sky is the limit . I always believe in the self-empowerment of women .
Thanks for the brilliant piece.
A great lesson, so motivational and inspiring for not only women but also men to better shape them so as to better plan and attain their set goals in life.
I actually accept all what you have said concerning women’s an even men when we come through Islam,i get a small portion of comments but now days some women’s follow the monetarily accept before marriage this is among the major problems in the side of women’s and when you talk of men’s among is lack of responsibility an Islam a man has to provide all the women needs clothing an shelter, but come an see some men now days some women will do everything thing for their husbands an Islam don’t advise we the men to sit an let our wives an love once to give us money and food to eat,yea and I really appreciate you jamano thanks keep it up.
Quite agree because most women become vulnerable due to the fact that they depend on other selfish men who are very heartless. They only help or assist without asking the other way round. A women should strive on her own and no matter what stick to her principles. Marr Naan waruta tahaa naan potit!
I couldn’t agree more. But don’t you also think that men are the very one that encourage that attitude of dependency in women? Because from the very beginning of courting, men tend to portray themselves as ” the provide all for you” kind of man. I mean if he doesn’t have the means to support you, he wouldn’t simply admit it to you but rather go extra miles of doing the undone just for the woman. What so you think?
Some men do yes. But women should start changing that especially in Gambia. It’s already obvious in the neighboring Senegal. Women work extra hard to avoid dependency. They occupy the markets, etc you name it. They even fund their home requirements. Even if a wealthy man marries you doesn’t mean you should relax and depend on him.