Here’s Why We Should Empower The Male Child NOW!

I was once told by my junior school teacher that this is a man’s world.  That’s why it was and perhaps still is easier for men unlike women to secure jobs, pursue technical careers, make a great impact in the world, etc. However, that narrative has changed tremendously in recent years as we now see women pursuing dreams and achieving goals that were “supposedly” impossible for them to do so. This has been made possible largely through female empowerment initiatives, which basically have been able to avail the girl child the same opportunities as their male counterparts. And I must say, despite the differences in our biological make-up, women have proven to the world that they can also achieve anything a man can and be independent too. Therefore, we commend organizations like Gamchix, EqualsNowGambia, ImpactHer, GirlUp, Girls Talk Organization, Mozilla Club of Hackerthongirls Banjul, etc, who are empowering women and girls thereby bridging the gender divide and balancing the man-made inequalities that existed in pursuing our dreams and ambitions as women.  While these women empowerment initiatives are doing a tremendous job with our girls around the world, there is a need to reevaluate the potential disproportion that is subconsciously being created between the male and female child, and how to address it.

Have you ever randomly had a conversation with a boy/young man in the street, at the bus stop, at the beach, or anywhere at all? If you did, I bet you would have noticed that 7 out of 10 young males seem to be defensive and exudes inferiority complex in their interactions, especially when they do not have a grasp of the topic of discussion. In The Gambia for instance, when you observe young males’ interactions with their fellows, seniors, or the opposite sex, the majority of the time you could see arrogance in their speeches, lack of discipline, the comfort of their tongues with swear words – you could practically smell violence in them from a distance. It is very hard to have a decent conversation with a boy/young man now a day. It is even harder to give sincere advice or worst, a complement to these young men.  Honestly, the majority lack basic social etiquette and often appear to be out of touch with reality. And this makes me wonder where we have gone wrong as a generation. How will the future look like with these kinds of attitudes towards life?

I once watched a TEDx talk where the speaker mentioned that the destructive behavior most youth displayed today is not primarily due to a lack of respect but rather a manifestation of an unfulfilled need. Many boys today learn the basics of life from the streets and not from their parents. Homes have left kids void of love, motivation, and guidance; consequently, creating a vacuum. The truth is, everyone desires the need to be heard, loved, wanted, etc, but when these innate needs are not fulfilled by the right people in our lives, it creates a vacuum that breeds negative emotions and therefore affects our relationships with others. Anger is just a secondary emotion to things like fear, anxiety, and depression. When one cannot verbally express these negative internal emotions, the only possible way to communicate becomes through anger.  However, just like we recognized the need to bridge the gap in equal access to opportunities between boys and girls, we also should not be oblivion of a possible imbalance that is being created by focusing our empowerment agendas on only the girl child.

Suffice it to say that all our relationships are shaped by the relationships we have with our parents. These are primal, original bonds. However, some people never feel loved by their parents not because their parents do not love them, but because their parents also never experienced love and attention from their parents; hence, a vicious cycle that affects the whole community and subsequently the world at large. Clearly, most of our parents have failed us especially in raising responsible male children. So what’s the way forward? Can we take our destinies into our own hands and push for change? Yes, We Can! Certainly, we cannot fulfill every young man/boy’s needs. But if we live in a world where women hardly propose marriage to men or a woman’s achievements are seen as next to nothing if she isn’t married, I think it only makes sense to empower our young boys/men in order to produce responsible men who would add values to their own lives and to the lives of the women around them.  And of course, the world will be a better place with our boys equally empowered. And this can be done through;

• Responsible Parenting –  we should learn to be responsible parents because the family is the basic unit of a society. Needless to say, most parents now a days do not teach their kids good manner neither moderate nor guide them on the online and offline contents to which they should be exposed to. A simple example is the modern day music videos that have lots of swear words and often objectify women.
• Stakeholder Collaboration – Civil Society Organizations, governments and all concern stakeholders should incorporate or initiate boys’ empowerment campaigns geared towards educating, capacitating and grooming the male child on how to maturely and responsibly face and mitigate life’s toughest challenges.
• Mentorship – everybody, especially a male child, needs a mentor. A mentor is like a torch light that can guide you through life. Sadly, our male children learn about life in the streets, which more often than not teaches negativity – thug life style. We need mentors with experiences and humility who can help guide our boys/ young men to the right channels.

At the end of it all, no women’s agenda can really make a long-term impact without the support of men.

What do you think?