Fanta (name changed) shared her sad story with us on how her husband treated her for denying him sex; so we want to sought your opinion and advice for her. Here’s how she narrated it:
“We had our bath separately before bed time and all I could think of was sleep, but my husband had different thoughts. He wanted sex, but I was just too tired for that so I said NO and asked him to wait until morning. I had spent the whole day cooking for his friends who visited us and stayed longer than expected, so I could barely move my body.
Upon hearing this, he angrily left the bedroom and I drifted off to sleep because I was just too exhausted. Guess what, I was woken up with a slap in my face. I thought I was dreaming, but no I wasn’t. It was my husband who actually slapped me! I was startled, and as I wanted to asked why he did that, he gave me another even harder slap and said I had no right to deny him sex. I was so angry that I couldn’t utter a word. With tears in my eyes and rage in my heart, I tried to go back to sleep. But he wasn’t done with me. Then there came a spank on my butt and before I could react he pulled me closer. At this point, I was forced to slap him back, but that made him angrier, he hit me back and pinned me down – I struggled with him, but he overpowered me.
He tore my nightwear and “raped” me to his satisfaction. After he was done, he told me to never deny him sex again. I still do not believe this happened.”
We all know our cultures and religions have spelt out a wife’s duties to her husband and vice versa. However, in this scenario:
- Was Fanta wrong for telling her husband to wait until Morning?
- Was her husband right to slapped her?
- Can her husband’s action be termed as rape? If yes, was he right to rape her?
- What would you recommend as best approach to addressing these types of issues between spouses?
Please drop your comments below!
My take is sex must be based on mutual consensus, else it becomes something else. In a relationship always watch out for mutual interest but not self. How on earth can a man batter his wife who served him and his friends during the day. Wait till morning is a simple thing to do. Please men let’s learn to treat our women right.
How on earth do you enjoy sex by way of threat and/or force. Only a sick mind will do so. No rational thinking man will force his wife into sex. No culture or religion on this planet allows a husband to force his wife into sex. The law is clear on this: it’s called rape. Respect and treat a woman very well and she will sexually satisfy a husband even on her death bed.
I wish the husband understands the woman effort to satisfy her husband friends after doing a fantastic job. It’s not easy to cook much.kore going up and down just to make sure the food is served to her husband friends. Sex is also a matter time that all the partners must be ready to do otherwise it’s not going to be matter as usual. The husband cted out of Islamic prescribed rules in marriage.
Firstly: a real man has no right to lay hands on a woman.
Secondly: for a woman to deny her husband of sex is luring him to infidelity.
3: men has different mentalities in terms of understanding, some understands when the woman is exhausted and some don’t care about that. Understanding matters most, but it’s very wrong for a man to slap his wife.
I rest my cas!
Let him have his way – it won’t be more than 25mins and you would have made him happy. Marriage is not about self – don’t be selfish ! He could have left and gone outside and then you would say he is unfaithful! Let him enjoy you !!!
A man should not hit a woman. Sex should be mutual. Or one has to turn the partner on but not force. It really breaks my heart to even read this.